Do you know your inner child lives within you? It’s very real, alive and potent energy inside of you. It’s basically the collective energy of your younger selves you used to be trough your life, starting when you were just a tiny speck in the womb up until you grew up and became an adult. Why it is so important to connect with the younger inner self, get to know it and heal it? Well first of all it’s the source of joy, innocence, child-like wonder and healthy curiosity.It’s the younger inner self who stirs the enthusiasm and passion within us and helps us shape our life. What happens when it’s unbalanced? Your life tends to be tough, boring, unfulfilling, lacking fun and excitement. Unhealthy inner child is like a gaping hole that drains your energy. The energy becomes scattered rather then centred.
How do you know it’s your inner child?
The inner child tends to run you in many ways you are not even aware of. It is always demanding attention and care and if we don’t provide it, It has Its ways to get it from us. Here are some behaviours run by younger self:
– being an attention seek – any degree of it!
– being very stubborn, saying no,just to say no
– feeling rage, anger, resentment or hate – those emotions are a sure sign of wounded inner child
– disliking something or somebody just because…
– need to be taken care of, pampered and served to
– wanting something so bad that you have to have it no matter what
– treating yourself frequently with ice-cream, cookies or hot chocolate or other sweets
– rebelling to all the rules
– getting silly and giggly, speaking with squeaky voice, being childlike a little more often then anyone you know
– running tantrums – Oh yeah?! This is my seat (or computer, or parking space) Move over! or Give it back!
These are only some behaviour patters run by our inner child! The more unbalanced the inner child is the more extreme patters it runs. One of them is a recent social and psychological phenomenon called kidults. These are adults who didn’t have a happy childhood or simply miss it and who don’t want to grow up. They’ve decided to live like kids. They dress in childish way, sleep in colourful pyjamas with cartoon characters, cuddling their teddy bear. They are modern day Peter Pan’s who simply don’t want to take responsibility for who they are. They live in their bubble of alternative reality and are not willing to connect with the reality.
Whether you’re kidult or not it’s very wise and beneficial to get in touch with your inner child. Get to know It, do something’s that It enjoys and heal It. The process of healing the inner child will help you to become more mature in a healthy way, meaning you’ll still see beauty, joy and wonder in life yet you’ll stand in your power and be ready to take responsibility for shaping your life. You still think it’s no biggie to help your younger self?
Think again… because:
– How can you be a parent if you think and act like a child?
– How can you create a deep, meaningful relationship with significant other if all you want is to be taken care of like a child? Love me, need me, make me happy! Me, me, me… It’s neither a very mature nor healthy way to connect with anyone, don’t you think?
– How can you create you life if all you do is give up responsibility for yourself and life? Then you can always say: It’s not my fault – it’s them!
– How can you live when inside your inner child is crying and demanding constant attention and love? Well, you can’t live harmoniously… that’s for sure!
Implications of wounded inner child
The hurts we got trough in our childhood are still alive inside of us. When we don’t take action to heal them they become a dormant force until one day something or someone triggers them. They seem trivial and insignificant now, yet they have been really painful to us when we were little. Very often as children we weren’t allowed to express ourselves, our thoughts and feelings. This has serious results in the adult life.
Many clients I have worked with had their voice taken away by their parents or carers, which manifested as a deep inability to express themselves, their needs, desires, feelings,etc. Others have been abandoned or not fully acknowledged by their parents, so they feel unworthy until now! They won’t even attempt to get promotion or help or anything else that’s good, because they believe they don’t deserve it.
Those issues are very real and they keep holding us back. There’s still more: children, especially little ones are so energetically open that they sponge off the energy form their parents. They are very intuitive and know if their parents are emotionally ok or not. What do they do then? They take energetically their parent’s load on themselves and carry it for them. When children keep taking more and more of their parent’s burden they can end up getting more and more sick and eventually develop depression or other mental condition. This is not all – all of beliefs – those healthy or unhealthy ones have been installed and/or passed over to us by the time we are 5! This happens unconsciously, yet those beliefs become very real part of our being and very often, just like behaviour patterns and parent’s burden we took, they backfire in adult life. The are like strings that pull us back when we try to go forward, grow and change.
I suggest you take some time and think back to check what inner hurts are you still carrying within yourself? What unhealthy beliefs you’ve taken on from your parents? (check those about life, money, people, etc.) What signs has your inner child been giving you? What does it want you to remember and do?
The best way you can help yourself is to:
a) connect and get to know your inner child,
b) send It lots of your love and give It your attention,
c) find help and process those deep inner hurts to help your inner child and essentially yourself to heal.
Here’s the meditation that will help you connect with your inner child and start the process of healing.
If you need more help or have any questions I’m always happy to help!
Ocean of love & blessings
Photo credit: h.koppdelaney