A while ago I wrote a post about emotions, dealing with myths of what emotions are and aren’t. (I suggest you read it first).
I compared an emotion to a wave and I thought it would be useful to share with you how to ride the waves of emotions.
Have a look at the picture with two spirals – the one on the left is going upwards and the top emotions there are JOY, KNOWLEDGE, EMPOWERMENT, FREEDOM, LOVE and APPRECIATION. The spiral on the right hand side is going downwards and at the bottom of it are: FEAR, GRIEF, DEPRESSION, POWERLESNESS and feeling like a VICTIM.
Every day you move up and down this scale, surfing the waves without even realising it. When this happens you are left to the mercy of the wave and you don’t know when it’s going to take you – meaning once you start spiralling down you can end up at the very bottom of the scale – let’s call it ‘on the rocks’. Once you are there it takes time and effort to get back on a wave which can take you up the scale – to better emotional state.
What can you do? How can you learn to surf the waves of emotions?
1. You need to take responsibility for the way you feel. Nobody can make you feel in a certain way. It’s your choice.
2. Feel and honour the emotion which is showing up.
3. If you’re spiralling down on the emotional scale become aware of it and just STOP.
4. When you’re ready to move on you can use the following:
- Start changing your thoughts in a way which will allow you catch a wave taking you higher. Example: You’ve seen your partner flirting with a very attractive person and you got so upset that you’ve spiralled down straight to fear and disappear thinking – ‘That’s it! He/she is going to leave me. I’m not good enough.’ etc…. From that point when you start thinking: ‘Ok, maybe that’s my fault. I don’t pay too much attention to him/her lately’. (Guilt – you’re already higher up!)… Continue… ‘OMG, he/she is so pretty. I’m so not going to let him/her take my partner away’. (Jealousy – you’re one level up again). You start getting angrier… and you’re getting ready to confront your partner. You might come up to the stage in which you start blaming you partner – after all he/she is no saint either. You get disappointed with the whole situation (at this stage you’ve moved 10 levels up!) and continue talking yourself out of the fear and disappear until you reach more neutral state of contentment. It might take you a while, just keep going upwards.
- Even in the darkest time there are things that are still shining bright in our life. When you feel down start think of the things that are working in your life. What are you grateful for? What are you blessed with? You can write those things down. Just feel how it feels to be so privileged, blessed, lucky! What happens is gratitude/appreciation is a super wave which takes you straight to the top of the emotional scale. It is very uplifting and powerful wave to ride and the more you feel the gratitude and let your heart be filled with it the quicker you’re going to feel better.
- Another super wave – my personal favourite – is joy. We all have things that bring us joy and that we just love doing. Create a list of things that you enjoy – they can be things like a walk in a park or a chat with a friend, dancing to favourite song, taking pictures. You know what brings you joy! Use it to change your emotional state when you’re not feeling too bright and sparkly. Be careful with adding things to the list such as buying a new outfit or something more expensive or eating a lot. Keep it simple and inexpensive. After all the best things in life are not things and are free!
- Take a shower of pure white light, breathe out the feeling/inner state you want to let go of and breathe in the light. Instant uplift guaranteed.
- Imagine you’re sitting in front of a music console and each button corresponds with different feeling. In your mind’s eye increase the joy, gratitude and love and decrease fear, guilt or anger.
5. Stop judging yourself for feeling in a certain way. Instead just love and accept yourself. Think and say most loving and supporting words to yourself and you’ll feel better!
6. Trust your emotions – they are just a guidance system, so use them as such and let them show you what in your life is out of alignment with the vaster You (soul/Higher Self).
7. Quit the drama – some people are truly addicted (without even realising it) to drama in their life. Oh, the entertainment it can provide! Joy is pure entertainment too without the negative side effects. Drama makes you sooo tired, so just let it go.
8. You chose each and every moment how you feel. When you’re down it’s up to you how long you’re going to stay there. You can stay there for 5 min or 5 days. The choice is yours. Just create the wave that will take you higher – now you know how.
9. Remember – this shall too pass. The wave comes and goes and even if you have been badly tumbled you’ll catch the next one and ride it with fun and like a pro!
Emotions are such a beautiful gift – they guide us and take us from one inner state to another. Life is much deeper and richer thanks to the fact we FEEL different emotions. Learn to love and embrace emotions and they’ll become your friends and guides to the most wonderful place within you. The place where the real you dwells, the place filled with joy, love, empowerment and other delicious feelings. Have fun riding the waves and playing with them!
As always I look forward to your comments and questions.
With love & warm embrace,
Image source: Internet