Forgiveness tends to be undervalued and similarly to spirituality connected to religious teachings, therefore easily dismissed. I would like to show you how powerful, important, useful and easy tool forgiveness can be.
First let’s have a look at the definition of forgiveness by Wikipedia: is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.
Here are possible configurations of forgiveness: we forgive somebody, we forgive ourselves for either doing something to somebody or to ourselves and finally we are forgiven.
Stages of forgiveness from The Rainbow Journey by Brenda Davies:
Stage 1: If I do something to hurt you and I say I’m sorry you can forgive me for what I did.
Stage 2: You can come to realise that whatever I did, I did because of my own process and what was going on in my life at the time. My anger or irritability or the way I treated you was not really about you but about the difficulties I was having. You can understand and forgive me with compassion.
Stage 3: You can rise to the highest spiritual perspective and realise that you set various lessons for yourself in this lifetime and so you needed someone to help you learn those lessons. For example, if I needed to learn about betrayal, then I needed someone to betray me. Now, from this place, you can forgive me with love, compassion, understanding and gratitude.
It’s not about forgetting what somebody did to us (or we did to them or to ourselves)! It’s simply about acknowledging that past is the past and we can’t change it. We can heal it by letting it go and letting ourselves go and by becoming free of that old burden. It also requires time and readiness to forgive. When you feel you’re nowhere near this stage, then take your time! Rushing into forgiveness for the best reasons in the world simply won’t work and might even complicate matters more. So all I’m saying is that you will know when you’re ready to forgive.
Saying that you forgive out loud or mentally does the trick and feeling that you let go of all the emotional baggage and people wrapped around in the situation. This is the easiness of forgiveness mentioned above. There are no elaborate ceremonies necessary although if you feel like you want one – go ahead with it! One of the useful bits before forgiveness is possible is to imagine speaking with a person or people who took place in the past event which hurt you. Speaking it out and letting them know how you felt/feel is very liberating experience. You can imagine what would they reply to you if they could. It’s also safer to talk to someone in the privacy and comfort of your mind. Remember that no actual confrontation is necessary to heal yourself from the past and let it go!
The results of this ‘exercise’ will be visible in the real life as if by magic! Please remember that you have already survived the past so there is no need to get caught up in the story of what happened then! There’s no point in going through previous pain again and again! When you finish the mental conversation and when you are ready simply send forgiveness from your heat to the person/people involved and set them free. It’s very important to forgive yourself as well even for holding on to that old story or pattern or behaviour for years. You are setting yourself free too!!! Feel how it feels to be finally free!
What actually happens when we forgive? The process happens on many levels:
1. Physical level – when you hold any negative emotion and unforgiveness towards somebody it’s stored in some part of your body in form of energy and has low vibrations. It’s blocking and clogging you and the longer you hold it the more potential damage it does to your body leading even to serious dis-eases. (This is well known concept and has been particularly popularised by Louise L. Hay in her books You can heal your life and Heal your body). It simply blocks the flow of energy in that part when it’s lodged. When you forgive you automatically start letting go and this applies to physical level as well. So the place effected by negative emotions ‘opens up’ and whatever is stored there can be released and transformed. When this happens, new high vibration energy arrives to take its place.
2. Emotional level – the same applies to the emotion and it simply is transmuted and released.
3. Mental level – higher understanding of the past event (the one that caused emotional distress and resulted in unforgiveness) is possible and this means you can easier forgive and let go when next ‘negative’ situation arrives.
4. Spiritual level – on this level we get to remind ourselves that all that took place was a designed by our soul and agreed with the soul of the person who did ‘wrong’ to us. In this space you get to realise no forgiveness is actually necessary and gratitude for life’s lesson arises. Your whole system gives a sigh of relief. You’re more relaxed and expansive on all levels!
This is pretty comprehensive result we’re getting after simple act of forgiveness! That’s how powerful it is! Whenever you’re ready give yourself this fantastic gift! See how it transforms your life, sets you free and helps you to grow and expand!
Please share your experience with me. Thank you.
Love & light
Photo credit: nerdegut