A call to an empowered life – part 2 The power of vulnerability

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When I watched this video for the first time it really spoke to me and I could identify with what Brene said about fear of being vulnerable. My reaction to it was: ‘OK, it’s time. Let’s embrace this! I’m actually willing to be vulnerable and seen.’ I understand the value and importance of becoming vulnerable to my own growth and expansion. It has been like that for me since I consciously started to grow. I’m fully committed to it and I work trough (read: accept and embrace) whatever is showing up on my path, no matter how challenging it can be. This is my deep wish for all of you who read this words: that you are willing to do what it takes to become who you truly are and allow yourself to grow and expand.

So why vulnerability is so crucial for us?

As Brene says connection with others is the most important experience for all of us. It is how we are programed and wired. Connection simply takes the whole experience of life to a totally different dimension, it enriches it and makes it worth wile. The key ingredient to connect is to allow ourselves to be really seen. Here’s where the problem starts for many people and in the heart of this problem lies one belief: I’m not good enough. The moment this belief runs our experience we can’t allow ourselves to be seen and this prevents us from fully connecting with others. In contrary, people who believe they are good enough and have self-esteem and sense of belonging (Brene calls them wholehearted) and most importantly have sense of courage (defined as ability to tell the story of who we are with whole heart), compassion towards self and others and are able to connect. Those people can let go of their ego (read: fear) and show who they truly are. Those people have fully embraced vulnerability. From spiritual perspective such people are aligned with their Higher Self and they let it shine trough the ego exterior. This actually doesn’t hurt and it doesn’t require much either. It has all to do with shifting perspective from fear to love, as all which stems from ego is fear based and conversely all that comes from Higher Self (spirit/soul & God in broader aspect) is love. The question is what are you choosing: fear or love? What are you willing to chose from now on? Vulnerability is a requirement of being a true self. It’s necessary. Once we are fully aligned with who we truly are guess what happens… joy, creativity, belonging and love flow freely from inside out and back to us. I personally believe it’s a great reason to surrender and to embrace vulnerability.

We can see the repercussions of living from fear and not allowing ourselves be who we are virtually everywhere. Brene points out the strategies we came up with to avoid vulnerability:

1. We numb it with food, alcohol, medication, drugs, food, excessive spending, etc. Here’s the catch: numb out so called ‘negative’ experience and you will numb out the positive one too as there’s no select button available within us. Is really cutting ourselves short from joy and love and pleasure worth not being vulnerable? Think of it – this is the price we pay for not allowing ourselves to be who we truly & deeply are.

2. We make the uncertain certain. This is a very dangerous one… Self-righteousness stems from it and it hasn’t done any good to anyone – history is your proof. Anthony Robins says human beings have six fundamental needs: number one is to be certain (so we can feel safe) and number two is to be uncertain as it promotes variety and variety is crucial for one’s growth. There are much more things in life that are uncertain than certain and that’s the way it is. No, we can’t fix this, sorry. Yet what we could do is once again shift the perspective: this time from outside to inside of us. Let me explain what for. When you look for safety outside of self, and we already know by now life is very uncertain, what we get is fear, lots of fear. When on the other hand we focus within – on the essence of who we are, which is divine and always there when we need it, what do we find? Love & comfort and safety. No fear…

3. We perfect everything, including ourselves. I’m not going to go into the details of how unhealthy perfecting everything with the obsession we have reached is. The proof is everywhere. Instead I’m going to take this opportunity to settle a big, fat dual belief once and for all. Are we perfect or not? On a human/ego level we are not perfect but on spirit/soul level we are perfection. So again it’s a matter of perception: when you identify with ego you identify with imperfection and when you identify with Higher Self (spirit/soul) perfection is all you get. In that case we don’t need to perfect our ego/human side simply surrender it to Higher Self (God within) and align with It (the latter of course). That’s all! Nothing more is needed.

All right, so what’s the course of action then:

– Start with getting rid of that old belief (I’m not good enough) and start believing: I’m good enough. This might take a while… so be patient and compassionate with yourself. This is a core stuff you’re dealing with.

– Say yes to being seen and to love and connect with a whole heart.

– Practice gratitude and joy.

– ALWAYS chose love over fear (even if the first reaction is fear, that’s OK, simply be aware of it, stop and then chose love instead).

– Identify with Higher Self (soul/spirit) not ego and keep on aligning and realigning with It…

On personal note: I was born with an ability and a huge desire to connect with people on deep (super deep) level. It’s sort of like I see people for who they truly are and want to hang out with them on heart space, which is filled with love and joy and lots of light and sparkles of course. This makes many people scared and uncomfortable! So I was forced to stop doing this but here’s the trick: I didn’t know how not to do it and I didn’t know the other way of relating to others. As much as I recognize it’s beneficial to anyone to be able to connect with people on all sorts of levels, I also truly believe that this deep connection is what’s true to our spirits/souls and we all linger for it. So here’s the bad news for you – I’m not going to give it up! I’ll keep on embracing connecting with people and practice vulnerability. I wish we all meet on this deep level of connection soon!